Friday, December 15, 2006

When dreams come true..

Since around the age of 15 or 16 i had always wanted to work something to make my own money. The idea was always something in costumer service with some glance. First i wanted to work on a cruising ship. Than i thought i wanted to be a Hotel Receptionist than a Tourist guide later it came to the Holiday Representative. When i spoke to my friends about it they just smiled all the times. They said they thought all these jobs i listed were far too gay so in their opinion i just want to do something very gay. Dunno, funny anyway. My final decision came up during my university years. I said i was gonna be a Flight Attendant. Well, i didn`t do much about it. I finished uni and graduated in Hotel and Tourism, Catering and Hospitality management. Than i started to work in a hotel as a Front of House manager. It was very convenient and i was honestly very good at it. Than i moved on. I left the country and i came to live in London. The idea to fly was always floating in front of me but i just never did anything about it. I started to work in Hospitality management and i was doing it for quite a while. Than one day i just suddenly got fed up with the world and i thought; Alright. It`s time to jet off! I remember, it was like 2 or 3 o` clock in the morning. I went online and i filled in the application forms. Than the ones i couldn`t send online i downloaded and made a print out. Thinking i would do them in the morning. OMG, it took hours to fill them all in very precisely. But i did it. Than i went to bed. I was playing with the thought. What happens if i get the job. Oh My.. I can`t, my dreams never come true.. Than i thought oh yes, they always do.. Somehow they always do...! These thoughts drove me to sleep. I was sleeping till afternoon since i went to bed very "early" in the morning. When i got up i just turned on my computer as a daily routine and went downstairs to see what was going on down there. Than i came back in my room and saw i had several emails in my inbox. I opened them and couldn`t believe my eyes. Amongst all those junks there was a reply from British Airways. Yes, i opened it and i read it very slowly. YES! I got shortlisted and invited to their assessment day at their training centre. I just needed to bring my passport and my NINO card along also to provide the exact dates from previous employment! "Not a problem!" - i thought to myself!
I still had got nearly two weeks left until the interview and i thought i could collect all the information needed.
The next day i got mugged on my way home and with all my belongings my passport and my NINO card got stolen.
When i was looking for my previous p45s i had to realise them i must had lost them during moving home so i can`t provide the dates.
Basically two days before the interview i was without any of my proof of identity or previous employment. I knew i wouldn`t be able to make it. I emailed BA and asked for another appointment but that was two short notice for them so they couldn`t make it. I had to wait six months till i could actually reapply and than i could get the job!
I was thinking about this all than and there is a big question all the times. Why is that when i am given something and my dreams seem to come true than from the other side the same thing is taken back?
It has always been like that in my life. I never could get anything smoothly or easily. I always saw those guys who say meet someone and from the next day they are "boyfriended up". When i meet someone by the next date he has got someone else.
Whenever i found a new job i always got the second preferred one from the applied ones or if i got the one i wanted that was because the one they actually wanted to employ has stepped back so they took me as the second best!
Yes, i think this is the word. I am the second best. Or maybe not even the best. I am always the SECOND! Isn`t it just very strange? I think it is because i never think of myself as the second best. I actually do believe that at things i fell being the best i really am the best!
I guess there may well be basic things i need to change in my attitude or in my coded behaviour or personality so i will not come across to people as the second but i will be noticed as the FIRST! Yes! It sounds like a good idea. I think this could be a solution!
Hmmmm, let this be my last thought for today and i`ll have a thought about it. It`s quite late anyway so let this drive me to sleep now but i promise i will let you know where i`ve come to about it..
Good night!
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